Doubts

I generally don’t tell people that I’m planning on building a tiny house. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea, so I’m just going to avoid telling people until I have something tangible to show them.

However, since I don’t tell people I have this grand plan to build my own house, they keep asking me what I’m going to do with my future. I’m taking a gap year, I’m not going to school right away, I’m not sure what I want to do yet, I’m just saving money. All true.

One of my coworkers was asking me what I was going to do about school and the future. She mentioned that I’d have to find a place to live. I said, with a sneaky smile, “I’m just going to build my own house!” She laughed.

Some people tell me I should travel, and oh, how I would love to. I have money saved, but it’s for the tiny house. I can’t afford to travel while I’m saving to build a house, no matter how small the house is. I kind of just want to travel aimlessly and work odd jobs. I don’t care about being successful. I just want to be happy. But I need stability, and not knowing what’s next wouldn’t work for me.

On another note, my dad’s been posted to Ottawa (he’s in the military). My sister still has two years of high school left, and packing up, selling the house, and leaving in two months would be a stress on all of us, so Dad’s going to go alone. We’ll probably be without him for two years, and then Steph (my sister) and I will be off on our own. It sucks. Dad was supposed to help me with the build, but that won’t be happening. At least, since we’re not moving, I’ve haven’t lost my building space.

Last night I was talking to one of my oldest friends, Liam, who lives in Ontario. If we moved to Ottawa, I’d be able to see him regularly. If I gave up the tiny house dream, I’d be free to go back to Ontario, to travel, to spend money on whatever I like instead of trying to save every cent – I could get my own car! But I’d also be lost. As much as I love Ontario, I’m becoming a Nova Scotia girl. Liam always insists that Ontario is better and around the time of my trip to Toronto, he was saying Toronto has everything Halifax does, and more. But then I said, “The ocean. That’s what Halifax has that Toronto doesn’t.” I love this little province, even if the capital is tiny compared to Toronto. I don’t mind being small town. I can eat at restaurants where I know the owner and shop at tiny, amazing little businesses. I can jump in my car and be at a rocky beach in time for sunset. I can drive across the province to the ocean in an hour and a half. I just want to be free to go where I please while still having a place of my own to come home to. And that’s what my tiny house will be. I don’t want to live in a crappy apartments where I can’t paint the walls. So I’ll be patient. Ontario can wait. When my tiny house is done, I can go where I want.

I was having doubts about building a tiny house. Reading warnings about issues with codes, wondering what to do about water, missing the province I grew up in, stressing about where to get the money, and wanting to travel and spend money on life instead of saving for what feels like a faraway dream. I’ve been planning this for a little over a year. That’s not a lot, but also, it is. I’ve put more thought and effort into this dream than I have into any of the job ideas I’ve written under “What I want to be when I grow up” over the years. I might not know for sure what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I do know that I want to live in a tiny house that I’ve built, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll deal with all the problems that come my way one at a time.

The future is scary. Especially since I’m doing something different than anyone else I know. But I’ve always been one to face my fears.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tiny House-Community
    Jul 20, 2014 @ 22:49:24

    It is scary, but exciting, too. I applaud your ability to see the sacrifices you’re making and the risks you’re taking and still moving forward with courage, hope, and good planning!

    Reply

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Quotes

"It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare. It is because we do not dare that they are difficult." - Seneca

"Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." - William Morris
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