“Why Don’t You Like To Tell People?”

My boyfriend asked me that question the other day, and it made me think.

I’ve told my family and my closest friends about my tiny house dream, but I avoid telling acquaintances and strangers, aside from this blog. I think the main reason is that I feel I can’t afford their skepticism. I protect this dream carefully because I feel it is fragile and I don’t want anyone to make me doubt it. I don’t want to have to explain what a tiny house is either, to the people who have somehow missed all the articles about tiny houses and think I plan to live in a trailer.

I remember the annual family BBQ last year. My mum had long since told my grandparents about my plan to build, and they told everyone else in my family. I was asked questions left and right. It was kind of nice though, that they were curious and that I didn’t have to be the one to initially tell them. I had both positive and negative reactions. My great aunt was super curious and I showed her my floor plan and tons of inspiration pictures. My uncle was against the idea altogether and asked questions about what I’m going to do about grey water and this and that. He didn’t like my answers, but I had them! I’ve researched so much that I can give at least a partial answer to anything someone throws at me. It’s exciting to share my knowledge about the subject.

That’s part of why I started this blog. For one, I want to keep track of the build for myself. Secondly, I want to share everything I learn with all the people looking to build their own tiny house. I don’t mind broadcasting my dream on this blog because the people who find it are already accepting of tiny houses. I don’t link to it on Facebook though, because not everyone on my friend’s list needs to know about my business; I rarely post anyways.

People I’ve (reluctantly) told:

– My favourite coworker, Angie, who is very excited for me and looks forward to seeing the end result.

– A friend of a friend with a truck, who I asked if he’d want to take a trip to N.B. to pick up a trailer. He said he’d be happy to make the trip, and thought the tiny house sounded cool.

– My bosses, briefly. They didn’t really react.

– Another coworker, who is just finishing school for sustainable engineering, to ask her about insulation. Her response was, “Aww!” Weirdly enough, she got a job working for one of the companies I’ve contacted for insulation quotes.

My mother does not share my tight-lipped attitude toward the tiny house. When we went to sign me up for the wood hobby course, within minutes she spilled my dreams to the strangers with the sign-up sheet. She told the people that I would be taking the course from and seeing regularly for the next many months, despite me giving her the universal teenage signs to shut up (stepping on her foot, pinching her, and death glaring). Their response was awkward as they tried to clarify that, “This isn’t really the course to learn how to build a house….” I silently snapped, I know! and got upset with Mum after we left. It is not her secret to tell.

Then, last week when she went into the club to register while I was at work, she met the people I see and joke around with at the club. She then told them about my tiny house plans. Again, these are people that I see, not her. I don’t care if she tells her friends, but she shouldn’t tell people in my life! It’s no one’s business, and if I haven’t told them, that’s my decision. Mum claims she’s proud and she can’t help telling people, but when she talks to me about the house, she’s worried for me and how everything will work out.

I’m terrified that my tiny house dream won’t happen, and I don’t like to tell people when I have nothing to show for it. Until I have at least the frame of a house, I do not plan on going around telling people I’m building a house, ’cause I’m not yet. So far, I’m only planning on building a house. What if it all falls through? Why do I care what everyone will think? I don’t know. In my opinion, everyone is far too nosy. You can’t get a haircut without someone asking you what your future plans are. People mean well, but there is this constant pressure to have it all figured out and organized neatly into a school and a major. My dreams aren’t anyone’s business and it should be my choice to share them.

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Quotes

"It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare. It is because we do not dare that they are difficult." - Seneca

"Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." - William Morris
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